Friday, September 30, 2005

the blues


i wish i could say i just have the babysittin' blues but sadly it's more than that.

lately a good number of my friends have been dealing with some tough issues and i feel so bad that all of these people i love have to tackle such sad things. it seems that tough times come in waves though and sadly i'm feeling the wave. these past weeks have been trying in one way or another and it seems like each day brings more..well, crap, for lack of a better word. it's not eloquent but it's true. today we're approaching 3 weeks without a shower and while our landlord PROMISED it would be done yesterday so that we could have a shower today, she lied. or the workman lied. either way, our shower is not done and i don't know when it will be. then there's the fact that after a VERY shitty work day on wednesday, all i wanted to do is come home and watch "lost". i walk in the door, turn on the tv, and guess what? our brand new tv is broken. won't turn on. the lamp has burned out. every big screen rear projection tv has a lamp that is supposed to last about 3 years. how long did ours last you ask? that would be about 40 days. so when you're whole existence during the week revolves around the 2 waking hours you spend at home in front of the tv, a LACK of tv is quite disruptive. and, yes, it's only tv, but when it's what you do and where you eat and how you socialize, it sucks and makes you want to cry. that's right, cry.

but after missing my favorite show and having a broken tv and shower, what else could go wrong? hmmm...that's when God or whoever stepped in and decided to kill john's car. while he was driving of course. yep, just driving down the road in traffic for his shitty job that he hates and bam! he hears a sound and his car just dies. that's it. right on 3rd. that's funny, considering we just spent $2300 at the auto mechanic so they could update all of the major parts. or did they? i guess not if his car just died. so, the quote to repair it is another $1500. good times. not much you can do though, right? gotta pay it because you need a car in los angeles.

so, all in all, a great couple of weeks. add in the fact that the tv can't be fixed for over a week, the car can't be fixed for a few days, the husband has jury duty on monday, loses his job a week from monday, and, in general, despises this whole city, and you've got yourself a party! happy friday.

Monday, September 26, 2005

day 12 sans shower


i'm dirty. i'm tired. i'm grumpy. my hair has been in a ponytail for over a week. this is what happens when i don't have a shower. sure i've had my nightly bath, but it is NOT the same. in fact, it's horrible and i don't feel clean afterwards. do you know what it's like for a grown woman to try to wash her hair under a shallow bathtub faucet? it's not pretty. last week, well, approximately 12 days ago, our downstairs neighbors heard a thud and this time it wasn't john pounding on the floor. the ceiling of their shower had collapsed. the cause? our shower tile had been leaking for about 20 years and the ceiling finally disintergrated. nice. this means that a plumber has been at our house 7 days a week starting at 8 am. now the whole house stinks and everything is covered in dirt and dust. including the bathtub which we have to bathe in every night. that means scrubbing the bathtub every night before we get in it. man, i hate it!! there's a reason adults don't use a bathtub when there is a purpose and goal of cleanliness. it's not very effective. i don't know how much longer i can go own like this. the shower's date of completion is apparently friday morning. i'm just not sure i believe it. if only john and i belonged to a gym so we could steal their showers.... though nothing is really worth a gym membership.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

emmy roundup


so after the emmys i thought i'd do a roundup of the best and worst. but then i got to work monday morning and was lazy and saw that a ton of other websites did the same thing except they did it ten times better. BUT, sadly i am bored out of my mind at work so i'm going to post about the emmys anyways.

first, it was a horrible show. one of the worst awards shows i've seen in so long. the actual show was bad and dumb people won. people that shouldn't have. and that's not just my opinion, that's a fact. luckily, the red carpet remained and that's always the best part.

check out this quality picture of jane kaczmarek. she seems like a nice person and all but see the little spot where her nipple is? know what that is? it's a stick-on nipple cover thing and you can see it through your dress jane!!

this just in, zach braff and mandy moore are dating. she's purdy.

in other news, jeremy piven is an cocky disgusting prick but a funny cocky disgusting prick.

here's one of my favorites. an anorexic teri hatcher trying to hold her stomach in after having one sip of a margarita. man, i wish i could ignore the basic need to eat.

some of the best dressed....

she's not young, she's not bony thin, and i like this mariska lady.

also not young and not bony thin (with a bad name to boot), c.s.i.'s marg manages to pull this off.

funky and weird but i like this dress on alyson hanigan

and what i think is the best...marcia cross looking the best she has ever looked.

and the worst....

if i were as fucking tall, thin, and beautiful as charlize theron, you'd better believe that i'd be wearing something prettier than this.

remember in college when you used to hang tapestries on your wall? well isla fisher from 'wedding crashers' is wearing one. and i think i can see her strapless bra.

i can always count on debra messing to be wearing something HORRIFIC on the red carpet. when her show FINALLY goes away this year, who will i turn to?

maybe patricia arquette can take her place. this girl is a train wreck. horrible horrible hair and just an ugly, badly fitting dress. oh, the shame.

don't know why this actress was at the emmy's, but this dress is no good. stop it. and stop it with the belts over clothing.

of course, worst dressed honors has to go to our own star jones. you gotta conclude that this woman is blind. she loses basically a person in weight then chooses the MOST unflattering dress possible. i mean, gathered purple velvet is not going to look good on anyone. NO. ONE. EVER.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

my husband


i promise there will be no more talk of south park after this post. but i couldn't resist....
john, in an argumentative mood....
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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

south park


stolen from sugary abuse...find out what you'd look like as a south park character here. i think i'd make a pretty sweet addition to the show...
me as southpark

Monday, September 12, 2005

weekend of first times


it was a packed fun-filled weekend full of familiar things (football, brunch at lulu's) but the weekend also brought with it some firsts. have a look-see....

- it was the first time i'd seen john do "should i stay or should i go" at karaoke. he was WAY into it...running through aisles, jumping on chairs, scooting on his knees. he was hard-core and the next day he had rugburns on his knees to prove it.

- it was the first time i'd seen karoake invaded by a horde of heavy metal t-shirt clad, long wig wearing, alternative, bicyclists. words cannot describe the scene that "midnight ridazz" brought with them, but it was amazing. one of the craziest things i have seen in l.a. definitely the most bikes i've seen in l.a. and at an insane ac/dc cover band concert. loved it.

- it was the first time i'd seen fox new show "reunion". it wasn't very good.

- it was the first time i'd seen a picture of me like this.

- it was the first time i'd gone to a going away party for my friend jimtern. oh wait, no it wasn't.

- it was the first time our neighbors fought back in the war of noise. john did his usual stomp as hard as he could on our floor (their ceiling) and 1 minute later our doorbell rang. i've been telling john for months that stomping is not an acceptable form of protest for loud neighbors. sure enough they came up and john and the girls had words. i believed they said that they don't complain when he has all of his football friends over and they yell and scream and roll around on the wheely chairs. oh, and they said something else which leads me to my final point....

- it was the first time i'd heard this - "i don't complain when lisa has her soriority sisters over." umm...what the hell?!! soriority sisters? do i look like i was in a damn soriority!? apparently i must sound like i'm giggling hysterically about clothes with a bunch of high-heel wearing females. i mean, it was just that one oscar show. and the golden globes. but we weren't bound by any greek organization! unless "pq" is a greek letter i don't know about.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

quick observations and notes


i've been swamped at my new job which is good, but i've had these tiny things i've been meaning to blog about. and of course each tiny thing doesn't constitute a whole blog post (or does it?) but if you COMBINE them, wow. you've got something.

i was in walgreens pharmacy the other day and saw that they were selling this tube of something called "the pimple eraser". catchy name. the ad below it made the incredible claim that the "pimple disappears after just 5 days of use!!" um, excuse me? anyone that's had a pimple knows that it will usually disappear on it's own after 5 days! 5 days is an eternity. yet some dumbass was paying $20 for this miracle cream.

last night i had a dream about snakes. i guess it was a nightmare. and not the little slithery snakes. like huge ass anacondas that can swallow you whole. i escaped one of them in the parking lot by ripping it open with my car key. it was nice. and gory. i couldn't figure out why i was dreaming about snakes. but then i remembered what john and i were joking about before i went to bed. Snakes on a Plane starring Samuel L. Jackson. seriously. This is the plot description: On board a flight over the Pacific Ocean, an assassin, bent on killing a passenger who's a witness in protective custody, let loose a crate full of deadly snakes. i couldn't make this shit up.

seen some sweet c and d list celebrities lately. we've got casting sessions going on in our office so they come in everyday. for those who liked 40-year old virgin we've got the fat kid from the e-bay store who was buying go-go boots as well as elizabeth banks who played the kinky girl in the bathtub. other notables? jessica biel (i wanted to call her the female maverick but i held back), piper perabo (i almost told her all about my own coyote ugly experience), and claire from 90210 (i wanted to play her my cell phone ring of the show's theme but i was too embarassed).

Sunday, September 04, 2005

hollywood wonders


i've lived in LA for almost five years now. yikes. that's a while and i've formed a love-hate relationship with this city. we all know the bad things about it so i won't go into that. but there are some great places and things to do here that i would really miss if i moved. for five years i've been wanting to go to the hollywood bowl. but it never worked out. weekdays were hard because of work and the few summer weekends we had available just didn't seem to work out. but FINALLY we went to the hollywood bowl last night for a night with john williams and the LA philharmonic. and let me say that it is amazing. i wish i had brought my camera to take a picture of the venue becuase it's amazing. from the street you would never guess that this amazingly huge amphitheater is hiding among the trees. i really can't believe that this place continues to thrive because of two things. one, the seats are still only $14. (granted, the cheap seats but their still awesome). and two, you are allowed to bring in whatever food and drink you want. that's right, you heard me. tons of food, beer bottles, bottles of wine, etc. how does this work? yet it did. there were no drunk fights, no bottles thrown, etc. amazing. next time i'm bringing some serious alcohol.

BUT the best part of the night was a certain aspect of the crowd. john williams really is an amazing composer and all night we're listening to some of my favorite movie themes. at intermission i happen to glance behind me and i see these two people with these long white staffs or something. i whisper to john 'holy shit, i think those are lightsabers.' awesome. so then the concert continues and this song comes on that john and i don't recognize immediately. and that's because it's from the "new" star wars. something from episode one i think. but i KNEW it was star wars because suddenly these bright lights come on behind us. yup, the light sabers. the most professional intense light sabers i had ever seen. i look down into the rest of the darkened crowd and suddenly a few light sabers begin to pop up in the dark crowd of 18,000. just these little lights sticking out. john and i thought it was the funniest thing ever. boy, were hadn't even gotten started though. williams finished the episode one song and went on to indy and e.t. then for the finale, the orchestra goes right into it...the star wars theme. the real one. the rad one. (i'll admit it). but suddenly hundreds of light sabers are on!! way more than i had thought. and these nerds are getting up and running through the aisles with their light sabers a-blazing. it might have been one of the funniest things i've ever seen. damn i wish i had brought my camera. it was so amusing to me. i'm sure i didn't tell the story very well, but damn it was good.

if anyone here wants to go to the bowl one more time before the summer ends, lemme know.